People who think they’re “a good person” but actually aren’t usually display these 8 behaviors

From the Personal Branding Blog

We all like to think we’re good people, right? But sometimes, our actions might tell another story. It’s a tricky thing, figuring out if someone’s actions truly match their self-perception.

But, some behaviors can be telling. In fact, there are 8 specific patterns often displayed by those who perceive themselves as “good” but might not be.

Here’s an interesting look at the behaviors commonly exhibited by individuals who believe they’re “good”, but their actions suggest otherwise.

1) Excessive self-praise

We all like a pat on the back from time to time, right? It’s nice to be recognized for our good deeds.

But when someone constantly toots their own horn, it can be a red flag. Those who think they’re “good” but might not actually be often have a habit of praising themselves excessively.

They’ll tell you about every little good deed they’ve done, every person they’ve helped, every time they’ve been the bigger person. They’ll make sure you know just how “good” they are.

But isn’t “goodness” about doing things without seeking validation or praise? True goodness doesn’t need a spotlight; it shines on its own.

If you notice someone constantly patting themselves on the back, you might want to question if they’re really as good as they say they are – or if they’re just trying too hard to convince everyone (including themselves).

2) Quick to judge

I remember I had a friend in college who always seemed like the epitome of a good person. Always ready to help, always kind and considerate.

But there was one thing about him that always threw me off.

He was quick to judge others. If he saw someone behaving in a way he didn’t approve of, he would immediately label them as ‘bad’ without understanding their situation or context.

For instance, one day we saw a guy in our college cafeteria being rude to the staff.

My friend immediately labeled him as a ‘bad person’. But he didn’t know that the guy had just lost his father and was going through a tough time.

Being quick to judge is a common trait among those who think they’re “good” but actually might not be.

It’s easy to label others without understanding their situations. But a truly good person would empathize and try to understand before passing judgment.

3) Lack of empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others – it’s a key trait of a genuinely good person.

But interestingly, those who perceive themselves as “good” while their actions suggest otherwise often lack this trait.

They might be sympathetic, expressing pity for someone else’s misfortune, but they struggle to truly put themselves in another person’s shoes.

They may even dismiss other people’s feelings as invalid or exaggerated if they don’t align with their own experiences.

Empathy requires selflessness and compassion, traits that are often absent in those who are more focused on maintaining their self-perceived image of being “good” rather than truly understanding and supporting others.

4) Always playing the victim

Ever noticed someone who is always in the middle of a crisis or a drama? It seems they’re forever the victim, and everyone else is to blame.

This ‘victim mentality’ is a common trait among those who think they’re “good” but might not actually be.

They will recount their stories with them at the center, suffering at the hands of others’ actions.

Rarely will they admit their own mistakes or take responsibility for their part in a situation.

This behavior can be a defense mechanism to protect their self-image. After all, if they’re always the victim, they can’t be the ‘bad guy’, right?

But being a truly good person means owning up to your mistakes and learning from them, rather than shifting blame onto others.

5) Frequent white lies

We’ve all told a little white lie at some point, haven’t we? I know I have. But when it becomes a frequent habit, it’s cause for concern.

People who think they’re “good” but might not actually be often resort to white lies.

They might say these small untruths to avoid conflict or to maintain their image of being “good”.

I’ve seen this happen: a friend who would always agree with others, even when she didn’t, just to avoid confrontation.

Or another who’d always have an excuse for not helping someone out, even if it was a made-up one.

But honesty is a crucial trait of a genuinely good person. Even if the truth is uncomfortable.

Because in the end, these small lies can build up and damage relationships, and that’s not really “good”, is it?

6) Always agreeable

You might think that being agreeable is a sign of a good person. After all, they never cause conflict and are always easy to get along with. But that’s not always the case.

People who think they’re “good” but might not actually be, often fall into the habit of always agreeing with others, even when they don’t truly believe in what’s being said.

They do this to avoid conflict and to maintain their image of being “nice”.

But a truly good person knows the value of standing up for their beliefs, even if it means disagreeing with others.

Being “good” doesn’t equate to being a pushover. It’s about respect – for yourself and for the opinions of others.

7) Never apologizing

Apologizing when you’re wrong is a sign of humility and respect for others.

But people who think they’re “good” but might not actually be, often struggle with this.

They might see apologizing as a sign of weakness or as an admission that they’re not as “good” as they think they are.

Instead of saying sorry, they might deflect blame, make excuses or even try to justify their wrong actions.

However, a truly good person understands that we all make mistakes and that apologizing doesn’t diminish your worth, but rather shows your willingness to learn and grow from your mistakes.

8) Lack of self-improvement

Growth and self-improvement are signs of a truly good person. They understand that nobody’s perfect and there’s always room to learn and grow.

But those who think they’re “good” but might not actually be, often lack this drive for self-improvement.

They believe they’re already “good enough”, so why should they change?

This stagnant mindset can lead to a lack of personal growth, and can even hinder their relationships and interactions with others.

Being a good person isn’t just about believing you’re good. It’s about continuously striving to be better.

Final thoughts

In reflecting on these behaviors, it’s important to remember that no one is perfect. We all have our moments of self-doubt, misjudgments, and lapses in empathy.

That’s part of being human.

But what differentiates a genuinely “good” person from those who merely think they are, is the willingness to acknowledge these shortcomings and strive to improve.

To apologize when wrong, to empathize even when it’s hard, to stand up for what’s right even if it’s uncomfortable.

Being a “good” person isn’t about maintaining an image or seeking validation. It’s about doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.

So as you navigate through life, remember: It’s not about being perfect.

It’s about being better than you were yesterday. And that, in itself, is a step towards genuine goodness.

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