My Magnum Opus, Broken English Teacher: ¡Notes From Exile!, FINALLY Republished

Originally published via Armageddon Safari:

It might surprise, or even outrage, you to know that if you purchased the first edition of Broken English Teacher: ¡Notes From Exile!, I never saw a single red cent of profit.

But I appreciate the support regardless. At several moments, it cracked the Top 200 on Amazon — the largest book retailer in the world — for the “travel humor” category. At one point, it nearly broke into the Top 100.

Regarding the disaster that was the first edition, I won’t belabor the drama — what’s the point? — but suffice it to say: be wary about with whom you climb into bed, business-wise.

After my eye-opening introduction to the seedy underbelly of the book industry, I realized self-publishing was probably the route I should’ve taken from the start.

So I got it done:

Broken English Teacher: ¡Notes From Exile! (2nd Edition)

The e-book is only $5.99, which I believe is reasonable considering that I spent the better part of a year writing the damn thing and even more actually seeing it through to publication.

But, most importantly, if you’ve appreciated anything else I’ve ever written here or elsewhere, you’ll enjoy it.

For marketing purposes, in order to figure out which Barnes and Noble aisle it could neatly be housed, Broken English Teacher: ¡Notes From Exile! was previously relegated under the “travel” umbrella, even though it was never about “travel” except in the shallowest interpretation.

Anyway, I’m the publisher now, so I can categorize it however I want, which might be “a 400-page existential crisis masquerading as a travel memoir.”

The synopsis I came up with a while back, which I more or less stand by:

“¡Call 911, or a priest! An English teacher (figuratively) gouged out his Third Eye. Blinded (metaphorically), he traveled to the Great Beyond of the Third World, back and there again, in search of spiritual answers or whatever. Herein the journey is chronicled: a near-decade on the edge of civilization, removed of connection, squinting through a vacant (non-literal) eye socket.”

A previously published excerpt: Existential Angst in ‘Nam (50 Years Late)

Okay, that’s all for the hard sell.

In light of the fact that this is my first self-publishing venture, if you do pick it up — which I encourage and appreciate immensely — and you happen to find any formatting issues with the e-book, please forgive me and let me know so I can fix it.

I’ll probably do a paperback physical version at some point as well.

God bless.

Ben Bartee is an independent Bangkok-based American journalist with opposable thumbs.

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